"In this photo released Tuesday, March 31, 2009, by the Newark (Ohio) Police Department, a motorized bar stool is shown. Police in Newark, 30 miles east of Columbus, say when they responded to a report of a crash with injuries on March 4 2009, they found a man who had wrecked a bar stool powered by a deconstructed lawn mower. Police say Kile Wygle, 28 was charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated after he told an officer at the hospital that he had consumed 15 beers. Wygle told police his motorized bar stool can go up to 38 mph."

Book Fest Recap

The Los Angeles Time Festival of Books was just grand. We mostly went on Sunday, but we scoped things out on Saturday, which was good because the panel tickets are free and they go fast. Esp. for the good panels, obv.

Before we hit up the panels we saw Jon Shook and Vinny Dotolo of Animal resturant on Fairfax in Hollywood. They were pretty funny and made pancakes and watermelon salad.

1st we heard James Ellroy who is pretty much the single craziest. He did come up with a creative, but not so subtle way to promote himself and his publisher who I now know is named Alfred A. Knopf.

Next we saw S.E. or Suzie Hinton. Who was as equally funny as Ellroy, but not quite as offensive. Although she did discuss the fact that her new novel for adults, Hawkes Harbor, contains some "soft porn." But it was cute to see all of the teachers and students who love The Outsiders ask some questions. And it was also neat to hear her talk about writing a novel in high school and how she develops her characters. Eric said that "the creative part of this woman's brain is totally over developed." Which is pretty much true. 

Finally we went to a fun panel called "From Page to Screen" that consisted of 4 writers who have published novels, and also written for TV and film. It was super interesting to hear about the differences that they find in writing for different reasons. I wont bore you with the details.

A hi-light member from the panel was Paul Feig who is the creator of Freaks and Geeks and is now a Co-Exec. Producer on "The Office." Pretty sweet.

Another, fun, free LA day!

PS - We didn't see Alyssa Milano :(

Also this...

Lissssten. Waatttcchhh.

Cool song. Funny video.

Barf-Worthy

Last night as a continued part of our anniversary celebration Eric made me dinner - my fave linguini with clam sauce and some of his famous garlic bread. It was deliciousss and only contains like an entire stick of butter per serving.

Also, we had some champagne and it was awesome.

for dessert his coworker who has a side cake-making business made me a delish Italian wedding cake in the shape of a heart. Which was also totally scrumptious.

nice work, babe. All we needed to make the night perfect was subtle butt...

Subtle Butt

This, Eric, is for you!

"A company called The Pond Inc. is now selling a product called "Subtle Butt", billed as a fart neutralizer, to eliminate smelly flatulence.

It's an activated carbon fabric pad, measuring 3.25" x 3.25" square, and adheres to the inside of your underwear with two self-adhesive strips. 

As the wind breaks, Subtle Butt filters the flatulence, absorbing and neutralizing its odor. Now you can eat as many burritos you want and still have a social life."

This is their commercial. ha.

Earth Day Go Green blah blah

Also, today is Earth Day, I plan to re-organize my recycling system at home this weekend. Try and make sure that I am maximizing what i can recycle and do a better job of sorting. I'll post pics after. And maybe plant a tree. But probably not. I dont have any land.

Weight Loss Plan for Trapezoids

I just like how this lady gets fatter.

Public Enemies

Last night I raced from El Segundo to Sherman Oaks to go see a free premiere of the new Michael Mann movie - "Public Enemies." 

Traffic was crazy and it was a pain in the ass, but miraculously, I made it there by 6:45 to catch the show.

This movie was pretty okay. Obviously, I'm not a big fan of crazy shootout scenes and whatnot, but i did review it on IMDB. which I copied and pasted below. obv its really long and I am obnoxious. Oh, and it contains spoilers. **SPOILER ALERT PEOPLE**

I also attended the test screening in Sherman Oaks last night and I share many of the same opinions as luckyboi. The movie was long, confusing, and also, super-violent! My shoulders were sore afterwards because I had been so tensed up listening to that much gunfire. Character development was nil, and I am so sick of seeing romance on screen reduced to a flirtatious first meeting and a sexy montage and then - BAM - they are in love and cant live without each other. Where I come from, thats called a "one night stand" and usually it just doesn't work out.

As a heterosexual female I was deeply saddened when Channing Tatum dies in the first 5 minutes of this movie. He never even takes his shirt off or flashes a cute smile or breakdances. SUCH a waste. This might be a more personal complaint, but ladies - don't let your boyfriends trick you into seeing this movie because Tatum is in it. You will be pissed.

Also, believe it or not, I found Johnny Depp to be as charming as possible. Granted, its hard to make a CRAZY BANK ROBBING MURDERER seem lovable and cute, but he was fun and fun to watch even if you didn't care about him dying in the end. Marion Cotillard was a little annoying at first but she really does grow on you. Again, I think its this fast track romance thing that bugs people. You're always asking, "why is she with him?" "Why do they even like each other?" But she is naive and bored and supposedly an outcast, so eventually, you get why she is into him. There is never really any understanding why a guy like Dillinger would be that hung up over a girl. He kills people all the time and steals hundreds of thousands of dollars without thinking twice, but he is able to open himself up and love her totally and completely. Humm, okay well maybe I should consider dating wanted felons, since, relationship-wise they seem to have zero commitment issues!

The only other redeeming quality that I should mention is that I like the music (most of the time, sometimes it was a little over the top) and the costumes. Some of the camerawork was a little shaky, and seemed out of place, but it wasn't constant and I got over it pretty quick. It's just never a good idea to suddenly go handheld on me, Mann. I was busy trying to keep track of Baby Faced Nelson and Pretty boy Floyd and then out of no where its like - "what? why is picture out of focus and jerky." But like I said, then you get over it.

As far as the other "public enemies," there are so many characters and they all look the same. And they each get like five minutes of exposure so its hard to really follow or care about what these guys are doing. You find your self hearing all these names and trying to match them with the faces and getting pretty confused. I would actually recommend reading this story before you see the movie because it would definitely help you follow along. I would have liked to seen more of Charles Winstead, the one who eventually kills Dillinger and is always telling Christian Bale what to do. Oh yeah that reminds me....

I haven't mentioned Christian Bale yet. Why? Um, I almost forgot that he was in this movie. God was he boring and essentially meaningless. In the film the Bale/Depp relationship is basically the same as the Hanks/DiCaprio dynamic in "Catch Me if You Can" - the detective that is always one step behind his cleverly cunning fugitive. But at least Carl Hanratty was kind of a goofy clumsy guy, and Abangale just wrote some bad checks. Unlike Bale's character, an unqualified FBI officer who over and over again throws his men into dangerous situations and Depp's a cold blooded killer who essentially mocks Bale for feeling remorse. Ugh, Bale was just flat and by then end you weren't rooting for Bale or Depp, just for the movie to end so you could go and have a beer.

Naked Old Lady Locker Room Fight

Today in the locker room at 24 hour fitness.

I got in the shower and closed the door and before I turned on the water I heard a woman say to another woman:

“Hey my name is Michelle and I just wanted to introduce myself. I feel like we got off to a rocky start. So I just wanted to introduce myself and apologize. I know that we are a sometimes loud group of women, but we really are very friendly.”

Then I hear the other lady say:

“Well, I really appreciate your apology, but it was not your being loud that was the problem. It was the inappropriate racial remarks and your insensitivity.”

ooooooOOOOooo the plot thickens! I am currently standing in the shower not turning on the water so that I can keep listening in on this nice little discussion.

“Well, I think that you misunderstood us and I feel like its not something for you to take personally and people have different views-“

“My friends and I have different views, however we choose to share them at home and not in a public setting where they can be hurtful to others.”

Good for this lady. I liked her attitude.

After that they started punching each other and got into a naked old lady lockerroom fight. – Not really, but I did finally turn my water on bc I was worried about being late to work.

Do you think it will be awkward next time they see each other at the gym? 

The LA Book Fair

soooooooooo

Eric suggested that we attend the LA book fair this weekend. Which seems like a good idea, except that I might have forgotten how to read. I know this based on the fact that I know almost none of the authors who are speaking, and the only people that I want to see are appearing on either the "culinary"  or "children's" stages.

Also, I hi-lighted that I wanted to see Alissa Milano speak about her new book "Safe at Home: Confessions of a Baseball Fanatic." Wtf, the "Who's the Boss" girl wrote a book about baseball? What kind of confessions does she have? What is there to confess about being a fan of baseball? Needless to say, I am intrigued and I want to see if she looks this hot in person.

ALSO --

The festival is FREE sooooo it FINALLY applies to the "theme" of my blog! Horray!

Hugh Downs IS Kind of Old....

Hahaha.

Ok, I just saw this. Hugh Downs is promoting a book that claims to have "Health Secrets" that aren't being used by our doctors bc they work "too well" and are "too inexpensive."

Now this seems like a scam to me, but I think that I will sign up for the 30-day trial and report back to see what kind of info I can get like -- "the "miracle molecule" that could make bypass surgery, angioplasty and blood pressure drugs obsolete" -- OR -- "How to NEVER DIE from cancer" -- OR -- "How to get the world's HEALTHIEST workout in only 20 seconds!"

Hugh Downs is a respectable journalist, so this is probably real legit.

Weeeeeeekend

This weekend was kinda good. Eric and I were celebrating 3 years as a couple (freaky). So we had a sweet picnic in Griffith park and ate delish sammies from Larchmont Wine and Cheese. I HIGHLY recommend this place. Delish, fresh, cheap sandwiches and a HUGE variety of inexpensive wine. Also, a cute store with a very authentic feel. Below is the google map of where its at.

After our PDA-filled picnic we went to get Thai massages at Pho Siam (1525 Pizarro St Los Angeles, CA 90026) - which was pretty sweet, but with a few exceptions...

Pros

It was only $40 per person (tax INCLUDED!) for an hour long couples massage session. Let me tell ya, we both felt like a million bucks afterwards. And this place was actually nice, not like some sketchy establishment on the venice boardwalk. They had free fancy bottled water and butterfingers & M&Ms which was a huge plus for me. The rooms were very private and clean which was good bc.....

Cons

They didn't speak tooooooo much English. It was difficult when the masseuses were trying to communicate how to put on the weird clown pants that you have to wear. However, using inappropriate hand gestures, she was very clear about the fact that I shouldn't wear a bra and should just leave my boobs dangling out.

Anyway, parts of the massage felt awesome and some parts of it i think just felt good when she stopped putting painful amounts of pressure on highly sensitive areas of my body. Awesoooome. Whatever.

Overall, I do think I would give the experience a B or a B+. And if you do plan to go to Pho Siam just remember that its CASH ONLY.

 

Sigh, so it was a nice and romantic weekend. Sunday we did tons of Laundry and took an awesome walk. It was the first really hot weekend in LA, so i feel lots of beach blogs in my future. Nice.

Who says you are only young once?

Wellllllll. Movie = very good. Liz = IN LOVE. I called this one.

Grrrrrrrr

Also, this week I have been learning to use Adobe Illustrator while bored at work and I made this Tiger. It took me, like, 3 days. 

17 again!

Soooo this is my first blog post and I guess it only makes sense to talk about the most exciting thing that I am doing this week - going to Pink Taco and seeing 17 Again with Meer. The weird part - I don't even have a crush on Zac Efron - YET!

Mostly, I just have to spend time with Meer before she leaves for Thailand since things are a little shaky over there and we aren't sure if she will return...

jk

i hope